Sunday, May 30, 2010

Chapter 28: Perfect on Paper

Sometimes a boy and a girl meet, on a Shidduch date, and they know right away that they are perfect for each other. They have the same Hashkafa, outlook on life, the same ideals. They have the same hobbies, and CDs, and favorite books. The character traits they were looking for, their "list", is sitting right across from them, in flesh and blood. They should be thrilled, because perhaps they've found their soul mate.

There's only one problem. They aren't very happy about it.

"There are classical music concerts for free, on Monday afternoons" Daniel said. "I go to them with my sister, she's also in Jerusalem this year"

"That's so interesting" says Karen. "I love classical music. I never heard of those free concerts."

So he's a fan of classical music, the same way she is. Another point in his favor. Why is she wishing this date was over?

"I think balance is very important", Karen is saying. "I believe in a blend of Torah and secular studies"

Daniel finds himself nodding. He agrees entirely. He resists the urge to look at his watch.

They talk for two hours. They have a lot in common. They would make a good match. Daniel sees why Shulamit put them together.

But when Daniel does finally glance at his watch, and say "Shall we?", Karen is relieved.

Daniel walks her to the parking lot in silence. They both have no more energy for conversation.

When Daniel gets back to the Yeshiva dorms, he finds Ari in bed already, reading a biography of the Brisker Rav.

"Here's your tie back. Thanks, Ari."

Ari sits up, keeps a finger in the book, saving his place, and closes it.

"Nu, so how was?"

Daniel pauses for a moment, hesitates, finding the words.

"She's a very nice girl." He says. "We have a lot in common. I'll go out with her again, if she wants to."

And when Karen gets home, she says the same thing.

"He's a very nice boy. I'll go out with him again, if he wants to. I'll call Shulamit in the morning"

Then she turns on her computer. Maybe Yishai sent an email while she was out.


  1. So people who have everything in common just aren't attracted to each other? How sad. Maybe that's why they need a lot more dates, so attraction can have a chance to develop. You've been sold a bill of goods if you've been told that chemistry is either there or not. It can develop, but you need to give it time.

  2. Keep 'em coming, this stuff is amazing!!!

  3. I guess that's why in the chassidish world, if it's a match on paper, they go ahead with it. It may be hard to understand, but it works. The chemistry does develop with time.

  4. MW - There's no guarantee that it WILL develop. But it definitely might.

  5. What a dreadful idea...marrying someone just like yourself rather than someone quite different who offsets your deficiencies. Oops, forgot, no one reading this has any deficiencies, all of their shidduch cv's are perfect and identical.
    Oppppppposites attract, as the song you are not permitted to know states on it's lyrics.