Thursday, April 26, 2012

Yeshiva Guys are Pedophiles

Events of the past week have fortified my belief. Yeshiva guys are all pedophiles. And so are their moms.

I get a frantic phone call from Mrs. Mom-of-Yeshiva-Guy.

“She’s 25! 25, not 24!”
 “Does she look her age?”
“Her age?”
 “You know, does she still look young, or does her age show?”

 Her age. In any other western society except for the one I live in (and possibly Mormons too) twenty five is considered young. In fact, women are considered to peak in the late twenties and early thirties – according to Cosmolitan. Check out the average age of most female celebrities (who aren’t exactly famous based on their IQ)

 But Yeshiva guys like them young. High school girls are illegal, but the good news is that most eighteen and nineteen year olds, fresh out of seminary in their sweatshirts and ponytails, still look like high school girls (and sound like them too)

 Then there’s the fact that by the time an average Charedi woman hits her mid twenties, she’s after three pregnancies, and hasn’t had a decent night’s sleep in who knows how long. Plus she’s wearing a scarf, or at best a wig. Let’s just say she’s had prouder moments, looks wise (Nachas wise is another thing, we’re being shallow here).

 So yeah, maybe the typical Charedi woman in her mid twenties looks ten years older than her biological age. But please don’t generalize about the rest of us. When we find grey hairs, we’ll let you know.


  1. Welcome back - and Gut Yontif!! (Even though it IS a "nidche" or more correctly a "mukdam" this year...)
    You must mix in the Frummer Lakewood/Brisk circles, cause in the less "holier-than-thou" circles I've always been in (I wont give it away directly, but let's just say my Rosh Yeshiva passed away just over a month ago, and he was known for lots of tzizis) - this kind of superficiality was unheard of. Maybe it's different now than in my time, but I tend to doubt it.

  2. I used to think the moms were to blame. But the guys are not that innocent either.

    And where I am, most women look quite good, even after 3 or 4 pregnancies.

  3. Hey, I have 10 kids and I bet I could still easily pass for 27, maybe younger if I bothered with makeup. Having kids doesn't necessarily automatically age you.

  4. So not true. Charedi women look AMAZING compared to their not-Jewish counterparts. I look around the gym where I work out and I always think people are older than they are.

  5. Sorry! I didn't mean to say moms don't look good, promise!

    First of all, I'm talking about a more Chareidi Israeli society, where women dress a lot more conservative when they get married, wear very aging sheitels etc. Most of my friends do look older and more mature once they are married. No longer the "fresh faced" ingenue look. It's not to say they don't look attractive, it's just a different "look".

  6. It is frankly disgusting how guys refuse to go out with girls their own age! I've heard of stories where a guy's mother offered to show him his 3-4 year younger sister's senior yearbook to check out the new crop of girls *shudder*.

    Have you seen my story about this horrifying phenomenon, and where it may lead us? It's called "Invase of the Cradle Snatchers" and can be found here:

  7. Probably partly because of the mistaken assumption that women in their mid-twenties are less attractive than teenagers. Also partly because the expectation to have a bunch of kids means you need as many available childbearing years as possible. And another-partly maybe because the older a "girl" gets, the less likely she is to keep toeing the line of socially-sanctioned nice-frum-girl behavior.

  8. I think this post is unfair. Speaking as someone who went to the typical chareidi yeshivos, I can say that the only reason guys date younger girls is because that is what every one else is doing. People want to conform to the system, and it's understandable even though it may not be right. They are no pedophiles ch'v.

    Personally, I was always happy to date older 'girls'. Most of the girls I have dated were slightly older than me, some were four or five years older. Much as it shocked the people who heard about it :-)

  9. Im so glad I had the courage to walk away from such a sick system.