Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A GOOD Shidduch Date

"Write about good dates", somebody commented, "Not only about bad ones". So these are my good dates. They are rare, but they do exist.

Oh, and, um, sorry to let you all down, but this post is not based on recent/current events

On a good date you don't care that you’re meeting a semi stranger in a hotel lobby, surrounded by other identical couples, you don't care that you feel part of a primitive mating ritual, you manage to get past all that, and beyond it.

On a good date you feel yourself. You don't automatically and subconsciously slip into a fa├žade that isn't really you, in order to be on the same wavelength as him.

On a good date you don't need to explain yourself much, he understands what you mean, he understands you.

On a good date you're surprised and pleased that there's somebody else in the world who thinks the same way as you do.

On a good date you can speak of science without him thinking you brainy, you can speak of fun without him thinking you shallow, you can speak of Torah without him thinking you a 'Frummy', you can speak of culture without him thinking you 'Modern'. Because he sees the full picture, the whole you.

On a good date you feel pretty and desirable, you feel feminine.

On a good date you laugh, and he laughs, and you both smile.

On a good date you feel like you're with someone who can take care of things, you can relax and let go.

On a good date, when the waiter comes to clear the glasses, you feel a secret pride that you're sitting there with this great guy, that you’re his date.

On a good date you're sorry when it ends, you're left with so much you still want to say, to ask, to hear.

After a good date, time is torture, you're counting the seconds until you receive the verdict, you jump every time the phone rings.

After a good date you don't speak of it or write of it, you want to keep the moments to yourself, close to your heart.

After a good date you think again of things he said and did, and appreciate them even more.

After a good date you miss him, you continuously store events and thoughts in your mind, to share with him, the next time you see him.

After a good date, you can't wait for the next one.

Well that's my take on it. What makes a date good, for you?


  1. "After a good date you think again of things he said and did, and appreciate them even more."

    You know... I keep doing that about my purim... I remember most of it... well actually it keeps getting more and more fuzzy...

    In any case, that was very well written. Indeed a proper description of a good date.

    May you require just one more :-)

  2. In the end, the only really good dates are the ones with your future spouse! :-)

  3. Had one good date with someone who is now married!! :(

    Hope your next good date comes soon!

  4. I agree with everything on this list, especially thinking about what he/she said/did, storing away thoughts/events to share with him/her, feeling comfortable to be who you are and speak about anything, and feeling very sorry/sad when the date is over. They are all wonderful feelings!

    While I don't share details of dates with anyone afterward, I do write them down - and will re-read my post-date impressions in the down-time between dates, whic always cheers me up.

  5. Hope all your dates are of the 'good' variety!!!
    An upbeat post is always appreciated.

  6. You are an amazing writer and you must be an amazing girl.