I'm tired of sticking my hair under the shower head, rinsing off the shampoo, pulling through a comb, stepping outside, and having to prove to the world that, no, I'm not wearing a wig, and yes, it's my own hair.
If it looks good- it's obviously a top of the range wig.
If you're having a bad hair day- it must be you're wearing last year's wig, which got singed while you were slaving over the kitchen stove.
Whatever I do to my hair, whatever look I pick- long, short, straight, curly - people keep on assuming it’s a wig!
I thought of going for the green hair with spikes look, but I doubt that would help. Don't Purim wigs look something like that?
"What’s your maiden name?" Asks the random lady I've just met and am making small talk with, in the hopes she'll set me up with the love of my life.
"Do you have kids?" asks the old classmate I bump into in town.
I guess if 90% of the Charedi female population over 19 is wandering around in a wig, there's no reason for them to think I am any different. Probably it's the same in L.A with nose jobs.
"It's because you look and act like an adult", explains one married friend. Adult = Married?
"It's because you wear your hair down", explains another. Single = Ponytail? No, the ponytail Shaitel is in. Maybe braids?
(Yet she does have a point. On those days where I venture out in a ponytail, the question at Kiddushes changes to "Have you finished school?", and in Israel, school does NOT mean college. Then, instead of clarifying that I don't have kids, I get to relate that I've finished high school, AND finished seminary, AND graduated from college, and am now working. All the time seeing the "18 + 1 + ? + ?" additions going on in my questioner's head, with them unsuccessfully attempting to work out how old I actually am.)
So much talk about married women being mistaken for free-as-the-wind, but the singles-in-shaitels phenomena is much more worrying! Who will think to set us up, if we are already married? Shidduchim for adulterers haven't as yet caught on, as far as I know.
I think I've found the true cause of the "Shidduch crisis".
Anyway, this Lag Baomer, I want to have a singles wig-burning-bonfire. Come, and bring a (hopefully male and eligible) friend! I've invited the dudes from the Meah Shearim to help out, they have a lot of experience.
Meanwhile I've come to terms with my married status. Hey, the store keepers are calling me "Gveret"! That's a plus!
4 days ago