Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Kosher, Kosher, Everywhere

If you're lucky enough to be living in the holy land, you can sign up for a super duper holy service which blocks calls to "unwanted" numbers. Bezeq is launching "Kav Naki" , a "kosher" phone line.

My question is: who chooses what numbers to block?

"That's odd, the Mendelssons phone is cut off"
"Oh, Ima, don't you know?! Their phone number's been added to the banned list. Chani wasn't accepted to any Bais Yaacov, so they are sending her to an Ulpana. I saw her going to Bnai Akiva on Shabbos!"
"Oh, I hadn't heard. Well that explains it then. "

How many people are using phones for messing around nowadays anyway? Hasn't the internet taken over? Or cell phones at least? What comes next? Bugging people's mouths'? Or my own invention, the KosherGuard?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dame saves the Day

Considering a woman is the heroine of Purim, why is it the men who get to drink?

I mean think about it, a nice jewish girl comes along and saves the jewish nation from destruction, so in gratitude- the guys get together annually to toast her with kosher booze, while their womenfolk cook up a seudah for them.

Yeah. Makes a lot of sense.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Written at the ripe old age of 17

Hearing their laughter
Drift through school gates
Longing to join them
Skip with playmates

I want to be a child
Spared from the pain
Playing free and wild,
Feeling young again

Now that I'm older
The world's somehow colder
Why must you show me
How rough life can be?

But life's about living
And we've got to grow
So to you I'm singing
Please help me let go

I figured this is my blog, so I can post my sappy old poems if I want to