I've dated many men, in the last few years. They have some things in common. For a start, they are all single. Also, they are all in their twenties.
I also go out with women. Mainly married women. Their ages range through the twenties to sixties.
Don't be shocked. Hang on, and I'll explain.
I'm in town, meeting up with a pal, one of the rare occasions she's in the hood. I get a phone call. It's my friend's mom, who since her own daughter recently acquired a new last name, has sweetly joined the ranks of those attempting to marry me off.
"Someone wants to meet you. She has a guy."
"Right. But I don't meet women. Who is he?"
'She won't tell me anything. She wants to meet you first."
I entreat and I protest, but eventually I give in. The meeting is set up for the following night.
Wednesday evening I get home from work. I choose an outfit which I hope the mystery woman will like or at least approve of, touch up my makeup, and head out.
As I ring the doorbell, I surreptitiously fix my hair in the reflection in the mirrored sign. Then the door swings open, and I'm led inside. Looked over from head to foot. Sat beside a kitchen table, offered a cold drink. And the date begins. An hour of small talk. Without the attraction to spice it up. I can't flirt, can't look into her eyes. But I do need to have her liking me. I get her laughing, that's a good sign. She admires my bag, another plus in my favor. She compliments my figure, something I don't get on dates with guys. I try asking about the guy, but it turns out she doesn't know if he's available, so no point discussing him. "You have to understand. He's been dating for a good few years now. He's burnt out. I can't set him up with just anyone, I want to save him that."
I wonder about myself. The dates with guys I somehow manage to slot in, between work and studying and life. Must I date women, on top of that?
Finally she brings the night to an end. "It's been great meeting you! We'll be in touch."
Have I passed the test?
It seems I have. The date is set up. "My dear, you're lovely, inside and out. I know he'll fall for you." Well she likes me.
One date later we all learn that he doesn't.
I'm "Too skinny. Too feminine." He prefers plump. Prefers tomboyish.
I think Mr. Eligible's female guardian has already met the girl of his dreams. But she turned her down. She wasn't her type. Overweight. Not slim enough. Or maybe the looks passed, but there was no chemistry, on the girl-woman date. I mean you can't set him up with just anyone. You have to meet her first.
PS. To all my well-wishers, don't worry, I didn't like the guy either. I preferred the shadchanit.
4 days ago