Some guy asked me that, one moonlight night, when I thought he was about to propose. Anyway, you, dear reader, didn't ask me this romantically, under the stars, but here's the answer all the same.
Aside from G-d, and his plans (yes, I'm sure he features heavily in the equation, I am religious after all) and aside from me being kind of picky (no, shadchanim, I didn't really admit that, this blog is ANONYMOUS), I'd account a lot of it to falling between two worlds.
We, chareidi children of Olim, are neither here nor there.
We can choose to be Israeli, but that means giving up so much. Thinking for ourselves, for a start. Accepting others, educating ourselves and our children, and so much more than that. I don't want to tar and feather all of Israeli chareidi society, but yes, that's what it would be to me, if I married one of the Israeli boys I've dated.
And Americans? Making aliyah was a struggle, learning the language, figuring out how to make it here. And this is our land, the Jewish land. I want to live here, stay here, raise my kids here. I don't want to go back. Not many Americans have the same dream, they usually want to "see how things go". They are tied to the hamburgers and the easy life. Plus easy lives make for immature men..
So that's me, caught in the middle.
5 hours ago