"I wear a hat at night." She says it matter-of-factly.
"You wear a hat to bed?" I try not to sound shocked. She's not Chasidic, she's not even Chareidi. It seems rather extreme to me.
"Yes, I decided to keep my hair covered at all times."
That's the point when naughty questions pop into my head, like when exactly does she show her hair, but I bite them back, being the nice frum girl/woman I am.
"Oh." I say instead. "I don't cover my hair at home."
"Unless we have guests of course." I add. I've got my reputation to mantain.
"Of course" She says.
"I mean it's a good thing, covering your hair all the time, I guess… There's that story with the woman who merited torah scholar sons because the walls of her house never saw her hair…" It's a Bais Yaacov classic. I always hated it, but that part I leave out.
The conversation leaves me thinking.
I don't cover my hair at all, except when I have to, i.e. I'm outside, or there are (non related) men around. (Halachically I heard that in her own home a woman doesn't have to cover her hair even if there are strange men around, but I'm not going that far, it would make them, and me, uncomfortable. )
It's hard enough covering for a woman to cover her hair, so why make it even more difficult?
Or am I missing something here?
Maybe the reason is logistical - when there are older kids around, it confuses them to see their mother without a head covering?
And maybe there really is some mystical Tznius benefit?
It's a bit like the great "what to wear to the separate swimming pool" debate. It's about extra sensitivity. What can I say, I don't have it yet.
So what do you do, or plan to do, in your homes- bare it or share it?
1 week ago