Pass the Parcel
"Hold on a sec. He's a twin?! And he's from ____? I think I went out with his twin brother then." "You think?! Sweetie, you don't know who you went out with?"
"Hmmm. I did hear the name, don't remember if we ever went out. So, is he like the brother?"
"Yes, totally. Except the first one is married now of course."
"Oh."
"You didn't like the brother?"
"Well he dumped me after one date. But I wasn't that keen either. I don't really want to go out with his twin. If it's the same guy."
"Maybe you should decide if you two went out or not."
"Well I did go out with some twin from there. How many twins can there be in that little town? And then someone tried to set me up with the other one when it didn't work out with the first."
"So you've been out with this one too?"
"No. Didn't want to date twins. Made me feel like something out of 'Pass the parcel'".
We went round in circles for a while. Finally I promised to look into it, just to get her off the phone. I'll ask my family if they remember him, his twin, and if we ever went out, or why we didn't .
The old Seminary friend on the phone, who married the third boy she dated, had by then come to the conclusion that I'm dopey. Try explaining to her that if I kept track of all the men I've ever been set up with, in all my years of Shidduchim, I'd be left with no room in my head for anything else. Any attempt at studying or tutoring would turn into a fiasco.
e.g. Math: " Take the number of boys I dumped, subtract the number of boys who dumped me, multiply by the number of times we went out, and you get?"
History: "Yeah we did have a history together..He even wrote me a love letter..It must have been in the year.. "
Politics: " So then his mother said…, but the rabbi said… so I told the guy…"
Anyway, back to topic. Should I go out with the twin? I really didn't like the first one.
One Shabbos lunch my hostess proudly related that her husband had an identical twin, and that she'd dated him, seriously, for a few months.
"He kept telling me I sounded like his twin". She said. "I was so annoyed. I was dating him, I wasn't interested in the twin"
Then the first one dumped her. A few months later she got a phone call "His twin is in town. Why don’t you try him? What have you got to lose? You already know what he sounds like, know what he looks like. "
She was convinced. 10 years and 6 kids later, the rest is history.
Maybe I'll try it. After all, it's a good point, I do know what he looks like, from twin #1. Assuming I did go out with #1, that is. If he becomes my brother in law I'll ask him.
Update: I pressed save and shut off the computer. An hour later the phone rang. It was my friend, sounding very apologetic, on the other side. I knew what she was going to say. I can usually tell when people are calling to say a boy isn't interested/ doesn't want to go out again. I think it's the embarrassed tone their voice takes.
Sometimes I take pity on them, and voice it for them, with a to the point "so it's not going to work, is it?". Other times I make them sweat it out.
"His parents did the finding out and they think you sound amazing." She said.
I wait for the "but".
"Then they decided the time had come to tell their son about you, before actually setting up a date."
(There are actually people out there who marry off their kids this way. Making most of the Shidduch decisions without thinking to involve their of-marriageable-age-and-hopefully-mature descendants.)
"The thing is, his immediate reaction was "Mom, but she went out with Shmuely."
I'm silent.
"So he won't go out with you. He says it would be weird."
"Nooooo." I'm screaming inwardly. "I've already written a blog post about him. Why did this have to happen now? It's going to be out of date before I've even posted it!"
"I don't actually remember his brother that well." I mildly interject. "It was one date. Two years ago"
But she's not interested. His highness has spoken. Weird to date twins it shall remain.
"Hmmm. I did hear the name, don't remember if we ever went out. So, is he like the brother?"
"Yes, totally. Except the first one is married now of course."
"Oh."
"You didn't like the brother?"
"Well he dumped me after one date. But I wasn't that keen either. I don't really want to go out with his twin. If it's the same guy."
"Maybe you should decide if you two went out or not."
"Well I did go out with some twin from there. How many twins can there be in that little town? And then someone tried to set me up with the other one when it didn't work out with the first."
"So you've been out with this one too?"
"No. Didn't want to date twins. Made me feel like something out of 'Pass the parcel'".
We went round in circles for a while. Finally I promised to look into it, just to get her off the phone. I'll ask my family if they remember him, his twin, and if we ever went out, or why we didn't .
The old Seminary friend on the phone, who married the third boy she dated, had by then come to the conclusion that I'm dopey. Try explaining to her that if I kept track of all the men I've ever been set up with, in all my years of Shidduchim, I'd be left with no room in my head for anything else. Any attempt at studying or tutoring would turn into a fiasco.
e.g. Math: " Take the number of boys I dumped, subtract the number of boys who dumped me, multiply by the number of times we went out, and you get?"
History: "Yeah we did have a history together..He even wrote me a love letter..It must have been in the year.. "
Politics: " So then his mother said…, but the rabbi said… so I told the guy…"
Anyway, back to topic. Should I go out with the twin? I really didn't like the first one.
One Shabbos lunch my hostess proudly related that her husband had an identical twin, and that she'd dated him, seriously, for a few months.
"He kept telling me I sounded like his twin". She said. "I was so annoyed. I was dating him, I wasn't interested in the twin"
Then the first one dumped her. A few months later she got a phone call "His twin is in town. Why don’t you try him? What have you got to lose? You already know what he sounds like, know what he looks like. "
She was convinced. 10 years and 6 kids later, the rest is history.
Maybe I'll try it. After all, it's a good point, I do know what he looks like, from twin #1. Assuming I did go out with #1, that is. If he becomes my brother in law I'll ask him.
Update: I pressed save and shut off the computer. An hour later the phone rang. It was my friend, sounding very apologetic, on the other side. I knew what she was going to say. I can usually tell when people are calling to say a boy isn't interested/ doesn't want to go out again. I think it's the embarrassed tone their voice takes.
Sometimes I take pity on them, and voice it for them, with a to the point "so it's not going to work, is it?". Other times I make them sweat it out.
"His parents did the finding out and they think you sound amazing." She said.
I wait for the "but".
"Then they decided the time had come to tell their son about you, before actually setting up a date."
(There are actually people out there who marry off their kids this way. Making most of the Shidduch decisions without thinking to involve their of-marriageable-age-and-hopefully-mature descendants.)
"The thing is, his immediate reaction was "Mom, but she went out with Shmuely."
I'm silent.
"So he won't go out with you. He says it would be weird."
"Nooooo." I'm screaming inwardly. "I've already written a blog post about him. Why did this have to happen now? It's going to be out of date before I've even posted it!"
"I don't actually remember his brother that well." I mildly interject. "It was one date. Two years ago"
But she's not interested. His highness has spoken. Weird to date twins it shall remain.
Ugh, I know someone who got engaged to a guy, guy broke it off and then she got married and divorced from his twin. What possessed her to even deal with that family all over again? I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I do have triplet cousins who used to come home from dates and set one of the other brothers up with the girl. Triplet #2 actually married one of triplet #3's dates.