Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Guide to Frum Women in Israel

See men are pretty simple. Easy to snap into neat little categories according to their head coverings. Check out their kippah (if there isn't one you already know all you'll need to know), and you're set.

Women, as usual, have to be more complicated.

Feminist - Baggy pants with a hat over long hair. The hat shows she's religious, so no need for a skirt any longer.

National Religious (A.K.A Mizrachistiyot) – Skirt over pants. It started off with the bohemian look. Long skirts with white cotton pants peeping out underneath. The skirts got shorter, until now a scarf wrapped at the waist will do. The pants got tighter. Jeans will do too. The main thing is there's something over the pants. Ready sewn skirt-pants sets can be purchased at Lord Kitsch on Rechov Yaffo.

Ulpanistiyot - Long straight jean skirts and baggy t shirt– the idealogical settler type who go to the best national religious girls boarding schools, like Rav Baharan and Kfar Pinus (no I'm not kidding about the name).

Tichonistiyot- Short tight jean skirts, glittery T shirt, and bomber jackets- they go to regular religious girls high schools, and not to ulpanot.

Yerushalmiyot- Pleated skirt in beige/black with pastel polo shirt (Tommy or Ralph Lauren) and flats. Born to American parents, and raised in Har Nof/ Bayit Vegan/ Ramat Beit Shemesh, the Yerushalmiyot are a breed unto themselves. Basically wannabe NYers, every fashion that captures the hearts and purses of Boro Park will hit the streets of Jerusalem a couple of months later. A V-neck sweater substitutes the polo shirt in winter.

Bnai Brakiyot- 10 centimetres past knees A-Line skirt with button down polyester shirt and heels- these are the true charedi women. Carbon copies of the dummies in the windows of Rabbi Akiva street in Bnei Brak and Malchei Yisroel in Geulah.

Chasidiyot- Long dark skirt reaching to 5 centimetres above ankles, so as not to be confused hevaen forbid with the Mizrachistiyot who wear floor length skirts. Paired with matching dark vest over wide button down shirt. Sometimes interchangeable fused with Baalei Teshuva who've jumped in the deep end.

The Sect- Shawl that covers EVERYTHING, possibly even the face. I guess they decided the Chasidic look (see above) is too seductive.

PS. This post is dedicated to Frum Satire, Frum Punk, and all the other bloggers out there who’ve decided to visit Israel this summer. Yes, including those of you who've sworn to steer clear of girls. Even from afar it’s good to know what you're dealing with!

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