Frum N' Flipping

Career girl and Shidduch Maidel- two diametric opposites. After a day at the office, getting dressed up for a date isn't enough. A major personality switch is needed too. I lock the screen, pull off my ID card, breathe in, breathe out, and shift gears. Body language, tone of voice, that changes automatically. Next comes the attitude. Work: Get across that you’re wrong, and I'm right, without actually saying so. It should be obvious that my idea is the one we should use, how could you ever suggest otherwise. Date: Give the impression I think you're amazing and brilliant. I totally agree with everything you say. In fact you're what I've been looking for my whole life. Work: Be assertive, without raising my voice. Sound firm and uncompromising. Date: Be soft, pliant and feminine. Flutter eyelashes occasionally. I don't know how I ever managed without you, opening doors is just so hard on my own. Work: Sell myself. Do nothing without proper recognition and ...

See men are pretty simple. Easy to snap into neat little categories according to their head coverings. Check out their kippah (if there isn't one you already know all you'll need to know), and you're set. Women, as usual, have to be more complicated. Feminist - Baggy pants with a hat over long hair. The hat shows she's religious, so no need for a skirt any longer. National Religious (A.K.A Mizrachistiyot) – Skirt over pants. It started off with the bohemian look. Long skirts with white cotton pants peeping out underneath. The skirts got shorter, until now a scarf wrapped at the waist will do. The pants got tighter. Jeans will do too. The main thing is there's something over the pants. Ready sewn skirt-pants sets can be purchased at Lord Kitsch on Rechov Yaffo. Ulpanistiyot - Long straight jean skirts and baggy t shirt– the idealogical settler type who go to the best national religious girls boarding schools, like Rav Baharan and Kfar Pinus (no I'm not kidd...

A new reason not to date me: My father is dead. It seems chareidi boys are looking for picture perfect families. Or is it that losing a parent is something put together girls simply don’t do (the same way they would never be caught without makeup) so it makes me a nebach type? I've got it, maybe it shows I'm not frum enough? Yeah that must be it. If I was really frum, and I davened, obviously God would have listened to me and left him alive. You'd think, with all the in-law jokes circling, and after all the M.Amitz horror stories in Mishpacha magazine, people would be glad to have one less parent-in-law. Seems not. Basically- if you're in shidduchim, ask your relatives to kindly refrain from dying until you're safely married off. Ps. The ironic thing is (not that I advocate killing off all parents), losing someone definitely makes you more mature, thoughtful, wiser, and well- better. At least in my books.