Sunday, December 21, 2008

Reasons to dump a potential zivug

Yes, you've done the 3 months background checking, but nonetheless, potentially problematic suitors can slip through the net. Things to watch out for, i.e. if you spot it, dump it and run like hell!

1. Chipped nail varnish- forget the aesthetics, and the put together look issues, this is Chatziza! Obviously she's got her priorities wrong. (Oh, if it’s the guy wearing the nail varnish, dump him even if it's not chipped.)
2. Orders malt beer- it may not be alchoholic, but it's so unfeminine. Plus maybe it's her way of surviving an hour without the real thing, get in touch with the A.A.
3. Orders a mint tea in a non mehadrin place- for some reason only guys do this. Maybe they are too busy shteiging gemorra to learn the nitty gritty of bug checking
4. Guy compliments the girl- big no no. See below post for elaboration.
5. Guy opens doors for the girl, and lets her walk ahead- any serious yeshiva bochur knows rabbis banned this. The reasoning: If the girl walks in front the bochur will end up checking out her rear end. Also, Talmidei Chachamim deserve respect! " ladies first" is a goyishe idea.
6. Girl arrives in a car- guy feels emasculated, and we wouldn't want that. Problems arise when girl parks car around the corner, so the guy won’t know, and said guy then wants to escort said girl home.
7. Guy arrives in any attire other than black (plain, not pinstriped) suit and black fedora. Girl arrives with any clothing not recommended by Rav Falk's "Oz VeHadar Levusha" .
8. Girl points out inconsistencies in guy's rebbe's carefully memorized devar torah.
9. Guy/Girl don't say Shehakol (only bracha needed, since food is assur) loudly, slowly and with Kavana. Guy/Girl don't answer Amen to date's bracha.
10. Guy notices the waitress/ girl notices the waiter. Avoid any eye contact with members of the opposite sex- possibly including your date, depending on social circles.


  1. Ah, the joys of chareidi "pozot"

    Why am I extremely happy that I didn't check any of these things... I even went on my first date not wearing my hat. We've been married five-and-a-half years now, so my wife obviously didn't read your guide when we were in shidduchim.

  2. Um, Gavi, it's known as tongue-in-cheek I.e. not to be taken seriously :-)

  3. I know. My comment is to be read in the same tone ;-)