Frum N' Flipping

"Shake my hand." I say to my husband "Huh?" he replies. We don't usually shake each other's hand as a greeting. "I need to practice" I say. "For the interview." He looks worried. "Because it's a woman who’ll be interviewing me." I explain. “They said her name is Ilana. I"ll actually be able to shake her hand, so I want to check my handshake is ok” He still looks rather confused. "What's the big deal?" " Everyone knows there's a lot they learn about you from your handshake. It's very psychological." I should know, I’ve been reading enough online posts about how to prepare for an interview. (Tip: don't say your biggest weakness is hating routine boring work.) I’ve shaken hands with someone perhaps once in my life. I've spent my last thirteen years making excuses for why I can't shake hands with men, an art form mastered by most Frum women. We know the hold cell...

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"What are your plans for this year?" That would be my boss talking. He looks at me expectantly. The answer is obvious. The words flash in my mind, as if spelled out in neon light bulbs on the top of a store front window. "Finish my novel." Wrong answer. There's no way I can say that. He doesn't even know I'm writing a novel. "My plans?" Stalling for time is always an option. "How do you want to develop this year?" He doesn't shift his gaze from my face. I take it "Finally get a driving license" is also out? How about "Work on my Middos"? Does that count as development? I spend a hefty chunk of my day here, between four office walls. I shouldn't just be killing time, waiting to leave, to date, to write. "I'd like more responsibility." I mumble. "And more opportunities for creativity." Yeah that sounds passably professional. Last year the answer I bit back was ...

Did you know I'm an irreverent dissenter ? I think it's super cool. First time I've been mentioned in the same line as a pervert too. In reply to the concerned comments, here and over at Bad4Shidduchim , I'd like to reassure my devoted fans (well OK then, my happenstance readers who googled "frum + phone + sex" and stumbled upon me instead) . My last post on the work-date dichotomy is not to be taken too seriously. I exxagerated. Poetic license. I do act myself on dates. The question is, what is myself? The work me certainly isn't. I'm not into technology, and put my hands over my ears when my friends mention anything to do with computers ("I'm trying to chill here folks!") I prefer classic understatement and modesty to showing off and self marketing. I'm totally into going with the flow and detest schedules and charts. I resort to intuition over logic. It's only now that I'm learning how to direct people, and get things done...

Career girl and Shidduch Maidel- two diametric opposites. After a day at the office, getting dressed up for a date isn't enough. A major personality switch is needed too. I lock the screen, pull off my ID card, breathe in, breathe out, and shift gears. Body language, tone of voice, that changes automatically. Next comes the attitude. Work: Get across that you’re wrong, and I'm right, without actually saying so. It should be obvious that my idea is the one we should use, how could you ever suggest otherwise. Date: Give the impression I think you're amazing and brilliant. I totally agree with everything you say. In fact you're what I've been looking for my whole life. Work: Be assertive, without raising my voice. Sound firm and uncompromising. Date: Be soft, pliant and feminine. Flutter eyelashes occasionally. I don't know how I ever managed without you, opening doors is just so hard on my own. Work: Sell myself. Do nothing without proper recognition and ...