Sunday, November 6, 2011

Bye Bye Shidduch Resume, Hello Career Resume

Now that I've quit my evening job (shidduch dating, for the uninitiated) , I've been able to give a lot more thought to my day job.

That and the fact that suddenly mortgages and bills are eating up a major chunk of what used to seem like a generous enough salary (when all it needed to pay for were clothes).
I've discovered that there aren't that many employment opportunities in Jerusalem in my field. And have started emailing out my (non shidduch) resume to companies all over the country.

If I start commuting I could probably make a significantly higher salary. (yippee)

But then I'll have to pay for a car. There goes the pay raise. (boo hoo)

But I'd have a car. (yippee)

But I'd have at least one hour less time a day. (boo hoo)

I GChat with a former colleague. She's married with a kid. She's quit her job after having a baby, and has been trying to get back into the workforce for more than a year. She has a great resume, and impressive skills. And she's still jobless.

"They all ask me how I plan on balancing work and family life" She tells me. "Then they hire a man instead of me."

It's there, but you can never prove it, never blacklist or sue.

Companies will prefer to hire a single man than a woman with kids. And what if the man has kids? That's OK, because everyone knows men can "compartmentalize". What if the woman is single or doesn't have kids? She can just get away with the sin of her sex. (Obviously there are women that break the rules. But I'm guessing many of them joined their companies while still childless.)

My friend claims that now's my last chance, if I want to change jobs. Now, when my stomach is flat, and I don't need to juggle daycare and long hours.

On the other hand job security will be a big plus when I do eventually enter that beautiful state of nausea and hormonal madness, and want to take sick leave for checkups, and extended maternity leaves. The job security I'll lose if I leave.

It's the best of times and the worst of times- for a career change that is.


  1. I can't speak for all companies (obviously), but I can say that I've heard from some managers I know no shortage of comments that make it very clear that they'd prefer not to hire a frum woman at all (b/c she's a pregnancy risk) and kal v'chomer a married one. Yes, even in large companies that should have enough formality to discourage this sort of thing.

    It's hardly universal, and I've seen more who are almost aggressive about _not_ being biased, but it's definitely always in the background...

    [I wonder if dati men have a similar if less severe issue compared to chilonim? That I haven't seen, but then again, my current employer has quite a large percentage of frum workers]

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  3. Hi FnF! Good to hear from you!
    The best bet for Frum married women that I can tell is Government-based - Misrad Hachinuch and Bituach Leumi in Jerusalem are FULL of Frum married (young ones too) and single programmers.
    Good luck in your search!

  4. I just wanted to chime in and say that any company with a policy like that is really losing out -- the best workers I've ever worked with have been chareidi women.

    They're very bright, motivated and extremely dedicated.

    [When i get around to starting my own company I know they'll be high on my list of the kinds of workers I'd like to hire.]

  5. Rafi,

    I've never made any of the details of my work experience a secret online, but it would be presumptuous in this case to assume I'm referring to my current employer, as well as remarkably inappropriate for me to address a specific company and its policies (whether formal or informal).

    v'dai l'chakima b'rimiza

  6. I was not referring in any way to any company policy, only to unfortunate views "even" in "corners" of an enlightened company full of married frum women. I know for a certainty that this is not a company policy, even an informal one.

    I certainly didn't presume that you were referring to this employer.

  7. Thanks for the post! It's interesting how you connect shidduchim and career together - much like the process towards kiddushin and career are related...