Frum N' Flipping

"No. Stop. Break!" Tires shriek as we grind to a halt. "You almost ran over that puppy!" "Oops. Sorry. I didn't notice…" I resume driving. My new teacher leans back in her seat, trying to relax despite putting her life in my hands. "Can I ask you something?" she says, as I circle yet another traffic circle. "Go ahead" I reply, my eyes firmly on the road, looking out for more stray dogs. "Do you do that Shidduch business?" "Yup. I go on Shidduch dates." I have no problem admitting it. Seeing as how it's a subject that fills most of my waking hours nowadays. (I'm still trying to remember what I used to talk about with friends, before we started dating.) "Have you, like, actually met a boy yet?" "Oh sure." I say. "I've met quite a lot of boys." "Ah." she looks suprised. "Does that mean you don't have to marry them?" I laugh. "A shidduch isn...

Take 1. I feel his breath on my neck. I shift position, so that his thigh isn't pressed against mine. His arm is raised, grasping the rubber grip handing from the ceiling. As the bus circles the hillside, we tilt slightly, I grip the floor with my feet, close to falling into the circle of his arms. At least the guy behind me is cute. An old and entirely unappealing man stands in front of me. Bulging out in every direction. Wearing an old pair of pants that keeps slipping down. We are close enough for me to count the bristles on his chin. As the bus comes to a sudden halt, he falls back into me. Cut. Take 2. "So tell me, don't datiyot have boy friends?" "No." "Chamuda, you're not looking for a boy friend?" "No. " "We could have a lot of fun together you know." "That's the address. Thanks." I give him the fare and get out, slamming the cab door behind me. And the list can go on and on. Did you know that it's...