Frum N' Flipping

Would you go on a date feeling sick? I don't mean sick at the sight of him, which isn't a good sign for future marital happiness, rather sick due to ghastly diseases like the common cold, and the flu. The thing with dating is, there's no one to provide a sick leave note. The Shadchan is never happy, being asked to make another batch of piggy-in-the-middle phone calls, delaying the auspicious meeting to a latter occasion, to a time when you're hoping you won't feel like a clan of elephants are playing hockey in your head. You feel sorry for the guy, too. Maybe the poor thing has already showered, and shaved, and now his efforts are going down the drain. He's going to have to make do with the 'company of sweaty guys' - as one boy described his roommates to me-instead of cavorting with a charming Shidduch Maidel. The fears lurk, unspoken. What if he thinks I'm generally sickly? Not up to being a future baby machine? What if he doesn't believe it...

A new reason not to date me: My father is dead. It seems chareidi boys are looking for picture perfect families. Or is it that losing a parent is something put together girls simply don’t do (the same way they would never be caught without makeup) so it makes me a nebach type? I've got it, maybe it shows I'm not frum enough? Yeah that must be it. If I was really frum, and I davened, obviously God would have listened to me and left him alive. You'd think, with all the in-law jokes circling, and after all the M.Amitz horror stories in Mishpacha magazine, people would be glad to have one less parent-in-law. Seems not. Basically- if you're in shidduchim, ask your relatives to kindly refrain from dying until you're safely married off. Ps. The ironic thing is (not that I advocate killing off all parents), losing someone definitely makes you more mature, thoughtful, wiser, and well- better. At least in my books.