Frum N' Flipping

I've dated many men, in the last few years. They have some things in common. For a start, they are all single. Also, they are all in their twenties. I also go out with women. Mainly married women. Their ages range through the twenties to sixties. Don't be shocked. Hang on, and I'll explain. I'm in town, meeting up with a pal, one of the rare occasions she's in the hood. I get a phone call. It's my friend's mom, who since her own daughter recently acquired a new last name, has sweetly joined the ranks of those attempting to marry me off. "Someone wants to meet you. She has a guy." "Right. But I don't meet women. Who is he?" 'She won't tell me anything. She wants to meet you first." I entreat and I protest, but eventually I give in. The meeting is set up for the following night. Wednesday evening I get home from work. I choose an outfit which I hope the mystery woman will like or at least approve of, touch up...

"In our frum and yeshivish circles it has become acceptable to send 2 to 3 year olds to a mixed pre school, where boys and girls: play together , walk to the park holding hands (Non shomer negiah at such an early age!) , eat at the same tables.. (someone could think it's a shidduch date!) I feel it's inappropriate " Kudos to C.S from Yerushalayim , who wrote to Hamodia raising this important issue. While we are on the topic, I'd like to propose that hospital nurseries should also be separate. I mean there our Kinderlach are doing something much worse than holding hands, they are sleeping together!

Did you know I'm an irreverent dissenter ? I think it's super cool. First time I've been mentioned in the same line as a pervert too. In reply to the concerned comments, here and over at Bad4Shidduchim , I'd like to reassure my devoted fans (well OK then, my happenstance readers who googled "frum + phone + sex" and stumbled upon me instead) . My last post on the work-date dichotomy is not to be taken too seriously. I exxagerated. Poetic license. I do act myself on dates. The question is, what is myself? The work me certainly isn't. I'm not into technology, and put my hands over my ears when my friends mention anything to do with computers ("I'm trying to chill here folks!") I prefer classic understatement and modesty to showing off and self marketing. I'm totally into going with the flow and detest schedules and charts. I resort to intuition over logic. It's only now that I'm learning how to direct people, and get things done...

Career girl and Shidduch Maidel- two diametric opposites. After a day at the office, getting dressed up for a date isn't enough. A major personality switch is needed too. I lock the screen, pull off my ID card, breathe in, breathe out, and shift gears. Body language, tone of voice, that changes automatically. Next comes the attitude. Work: Get across that you’re wrong, and I'm right, without actually saying so. It should be obvious that my idea is the one we should use, how could you ever suggest otherwise. Date: Give the impression I think you're amazing and brilliant. I totally agree with everything you say. In fact you're what I've been looking for my whole life. Work: Be assertive, without raising my voice. Sound firm and uncompromising. Date: Be soft, pliant and feminine. Flutter eyelashes occasionally. I don't know how I ever managed without you, opening doors is just so hard on my own. Work: Sell myself. Do nothing without proper recognition and ...

See men are pretty simple. Easy to snap into neat little categories according to their head coverings. Check out their kippah (if there isn't one you already know all you'll need to know), and you're set. Women, as usual, have to be more complicated. Feminist - Baggy pants with a hat over long hair. The hat shows she's religious, so no need for a skirt any longer. National Religious (A.K.A Mizrachistiyot) – Skirt over pants. It started off with the bohemian look. Long skirts with white cotton pants peeping out underneath. The skirts got shorter, until now a scarf wrapped at the waist will do. The pants got tighter. Jeans will do too. The main thing is there's something over the pants. Ready sewn skirt-pants sets can be purchased at Lord Kitsch on Rechov Yaffo. Ulpanistiyot - Long straight jean skirts and baggy t shirt– the idealogical settler type who go to the best national religious girls boarding schools, like Rav Baharan and Kfar Pinus (no I'm not kidd...

A new reason not to date me: My father is dead. It seems chareidi boys are looking for picture perfect families. Or is it that losing a parent is something put together girls simply don’t do (the same way they would never be caught without makeup) so it makes me a nebach type? I've got it, maybe it shows I'm not frum enough? Yeah that must be it. If I was really frum, and I davened, obviously God would have listened to me and left him alive. You'd think, with all the in-law jokes circling, and after all the M.Amitz horror stories in Mishpacha magazine, people would be glad to have one less parent-in-law. Seems not. Basically- if you're in shidduchim, ask your relatives to kindly refrain from dying until you're safely married off. Ps. The ironic thing is (not that I advocate killing off all parents), losing someone definitely makes you more mature, thoughtful, wiser, and well- better. At least in my books.

I caress them. Perfection. They have eluded me for years. The vision of dreams. Found, after months of searching in the malls of the holy land. I slip them on. The shoes I've always wanted. I admire my reflection in front of the narrow pine mirror. There is something about a good pair of heels that can make even a covers-the-knee-when-sitting-down-skirt look hot (or so I'm hoping, at least) I teeter off to shul. After davening I practice my chatting-up skills. Standing by the bulletin board, pretending to scan the shiurim schedule, I strike up a conversation. By the end of it we've arranged to meet at the first shiur of the night. (For those who think aidel bais yaacov girls have no opportunity for flirting, let me correct the misconception. We flirt just as much, but with stout middle aged women, instead of young cute guys. We dress the look, talk the talk, walk the walk. Learn how to make eye contact, smile, joke, exchange telephone numbers. Every woman is a potential m...