tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post7917061800264139736..comments2024-02-26T11:19:58.885+02:00Comments on Frum N' Flipping: Tasting another WorldFrum N' Flippinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08916430533625318667noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-40873687689461404952010-07-13T22:50:05.107+03:002010-07-13T22:50:05.107+03:00BYCP - That's a great poem! It really made me ...BYCP - That's a great poem! It really made me think.<br /><br />But just curious, does it include me? Is reading my blog also "draining and depressing"?<br /><br />Ouch..Frum N' Flippinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08916430533625318667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-22733287364847404022010-07-13T15:01:52.692+03:002010-07-13T15:01:52.692+03:00Sorry, I changed the URL. The blog is http://tellm...Sorry, I changed the URL. The blog is http://tellmesomethingdifferent.blogspot.com/.Catchy or Contagioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13497219345417163079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-5277051731862947922010-07-13T14:55:55.583+03:002010-07-13T14:55:55.583+03:00I've been reading your blog for a long time no...I've been reading your blog for a long time now, though never commenting, and your posts really resonate with me. I have just started my own blog, first with a "meta-post" about this genre of blog. http://bycp.blogspot.com/Catchy or Contagioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13497219345417163079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-41623568579163222872010-07-13T14:55:05.393+03:002010-07-13T14:55:05.393+03:00This comment has been removed by the author.Catchy or Contagioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13497219345417163079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-85741777175529390672010-06-21T10:32:33.399+03:002010-06-21T10:32:33.399+03:00One of the most important things in marriage is to...One of the most important things in marriage is to have similar life goals, otherwise you clash and go separate ways. we can probably all relate to wanting excitment etc. But when in the long run, we need someone who we can grow with and will be there with ussmbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00425290796472256844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-39616473193492991242010-06-20T20:24:13.147+03:002010-06-20T20:24:13.147+03:00You guys keep missing the point. There are many fr...You guys keep missing the point. There are many frum ideals. Stop trying to deny other legitimate hashkafic models.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-68814293062653476312010-06-20T19:06:36.094+03:002010-06-20T19:06:36.094+03:00Kudos to Israel, his comments are spot on. I'm...Kudos to Israel, his comments are spot on. I'm amazed at what passes for the frum ideal these daysAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-82338336685463736412010-06-20T17:49:03.830+03:002010-06-20T17:49:03.830+03:00For crying out loud can all you judgmental defensi...For crying out loud can all you judgmental defensive types back off of FnF? For the most part ppl dress the way they do to identify with a certain lifestyle. I'm sure there are plenty of guys with teeny kippot that take Torah and Halacha incredibly serious. You just have to filter through the 75% of tiny kippot that don't take it as serious as FnF would like. Which is why it's probably not worth her time to start wading through the externally dati light to find that serious dati amongst them. Let her wade through the right wing YU and BT's to find the ones with middot but at least she'll be on the same page hashkafically.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-84174040652292650972010-06-20T14:06:25.399+03:002010-06-20T14:06:25.399+03:00Oh- did I mention, it was on the beach, in Eilat? ...Oh- did I mention, it was on the beach, in Eilat? <br /><br />(marine biology course)Shoshannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05777262707944304743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-58915401580009660392010-06-20T14:03:02.472+03:002010-06-20T14:03:02.472+03:00When I met my husband, he had a baseball hat and a...When I met my husband, he had a baseball hat and a goat T. He was interested. I was not. I told him why- that I wanted to Live in Israel and a life of Torah, Shma with my kids, learning together, inspiring Shabbat- passion for Torah, Land and People. <br /><br />He picked it up and ran with it. He proved to be the biggest mench I have ever been privelaged to know. So I am married to my mench - 4 kids and 11 years later and couldn't be happier.<br /><br />Underneath that small kippa could be your other half...<br /><br />Shoshanna (skjask)Shoshannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05777262707944304743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-1124179621900952882010-06-20T13:31:56.451+03:002010-06-20T13:31:56.451+03:00There are only 613 mitzvot. My sobs keep all 613 a...There are only 613 mitzvot. My sobs keep all 613 and maintain active professional and intellectual lives in the real world. No one is more frum, and there is no more proper derech, because there are only 613 mitzvot. After that you are engaging in subtribal socioeconomic distinctions and biases. At least be honest about it. I remind you of how mortified at the shidduch I proposed for you a few bloggings ago -- until you were embarrassed to discover it was the CV of the Rambam age 25.Israel Fathers Rights Advocacy Councilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14372557670708363773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-60016895130297166642010-06-20T08:17:50.041+03:002010-06-20T08:17:50.041+03:00Lots of observant guys don't wear kippot in da...Lots of observant guys don't wear kippot in dangerous places or in the workplace. And lots of dahti men wear kippot on the small side. But, as you write, it's not the kippot itself, but what it represents. Yes, you probably will not have a Shabbat table or the type of children that you envisioned, but why settle for a second-rate husband or second thoughts? From skimming your previous posts (you write beautifully, by the way), I gather that daati leumi / YU types don't impress you either, but I suspect that the genre will prove to be a happy medium if you give it a chance.Arinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-19194115630482131872010-06-19T23:54:40.659+03:002010-06-19T23:54:40.659+03:00hang in there. and Hashem definitely sees and valu...hang in there. and Hashem definitely sees and values you sticking to your sheifos. you go, girl.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-66825641294882732112010-06-18T16:09:11.337+03:002010-06-18T16:09:11.337+03:00You write beautifully. As many of the earlier post...You write beautifully. As many of the earlier posts have said, I definitely appreciate the sentiment of this post. To be appreciated for who one is and the choices one makes-- in your case, in the realm of academics and profession as well as Torah and growth-- is one of the greatest gifts another person can receive... and is certainly something one should strive to give others. It is tough to consistently be around people who see only one dimension.<br /><br />To respond to those who attack the kippah comment... perhaps the person you are describing is not the same one as the person FnF is describing. The same action of removing a kippah can be innocuous or indicative of something more. She perceived it as indicative of something more, and therefore felt the way she did. Being openminded, as you advocate, does not only mean being accepting of guys who dress a certain way or do certain things; it means being openminded to hear the opinions of others with whom you might disagree as well, or to at least disagree respectfully, without resorting to pushing another down. Something to keep in mind.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-70754369626491598172010-06-18T14:59:12.790+03:002010-06-18T14:59:12.790+03:00Hazarding a guess: you want Torah, to which your h...Hazarding a guess: you want Torah, to which your hareidi dates devote their lives, and then your heart melts when you meet these attractive, sophisticated men. (I think it's the worldliness that draws you, rather than just intelligence. ). Could there be a problem on your "Contradiction Wheel"? Hareidi men in the age range you are looking for are probably learning, largely sequestered from the world and the opposite sex. And your dreamboats aren't devoted to Torah.<br /><br />Why don't you look for a BT, someone who has experienced the world, and through his own searching found the truth of Torah.<br /><br />I also agree with previous comments that you can't judge someone's heart and religious commitment just according to the way they dress. <br /><br />And in the word's of the Rebbe z'tzal, when looking for a shidduch, the two most important things are yirat shamayim and middot. And of those two, which is the more important? MIDDOT! Because a person can obtain yirat shamayim in an instant, yet it can take a lifetime to change a bad midda.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-19111876438059217612010-06-18T13:15:37.506+03:002010-06-18T13:15:37.506+03:00"Take it off when abroad" depends on whe..."Take it off when abroad" depends on where the person is going. I did take mine off when I went to Dubai and Oman and in France you rarely wear your kippah in the street. <br /><br />Personally, it is a matter of risk, since as was said in a previous comment, it is permitted by my rav. Having said that, if at all I possible, I will wear my kippah when abroad.<br /><br />And you can cover your head with hats/caps etc...<br /><br />My view here is that you've asked the question and are unhappy about the answer, so it wouldn't work... Move on. But don't give up or think that just because of one or two, there isn't one out there from that group.<br /><br />You shouldn't compromise with your beliefs but perhaps a slightly wider net is appropriateJeff Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-11163494878819595692010-06-18T02:24:15.092+03:002010-06-18T02:24:15.092+03:00Rav Feinstein, Henkin, Weinberg, and Yosef all not...Rav Feinstein, Henkin, Weinberg, and Yosef all not only permit professionals to remove their kippa on the diaspora but specifically encourage it where the professional activity might cause antisemitism (prosecuting attorney, investment banker, politician). Open a Sefer and actually learn a little Halacha l'ma'aseh. Your concerns have nothing to do with Halacha rather with subtribal aculturations and prejudices, And ignorance is more shameful than prejudice.Israel Fathers Rights Advocacy Councilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14372557670708363773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-54554628091921926662010-06-18T01:17:50.791+03:002010-06-18T01:17:50.791+03:00My issue actually wasn't with the size of the ...My issue actually wasn't with the size of the guy's kippah, but with the fact that he takes it off when he's abroad. I try to dress the same way wherever I am, and not change standards.<br />About Frum guys not being less intelligent- that may be true, but it's a lot harder to find them when they aren't at college, work, or conferences with me.Frum N' Flippinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08916430533625318667noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-7432997777911042382010-06-17T19:34:19.998+03:002010-06-17T19:34:19.998+03:00The thing is, I don't think there is such a ch...The thing is, I don't think there is such a choice - either intelligent and irreligious or frum and clueless. Irreligious and clueless can exist, as can frum and intelligent, and I thought one of the best places to find the latter would be in Israel. I've gone out with quite a few guys who qualify as wonderful conversationalists and being very frum. I am judged about my frumkeit based on sight (while I don't dress untzniudikly, I don't dress typically). Maybe these fellows are being judged as well?<br />You don't have to run off with these guys per-say, but the idea is not so abhorrent.Troinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-47660825152859967542010-06-17T19:03:58.858+03:002010-06-17T19:03:58.858+03:00She will be the kalla in the white gown with the l...She will be the kalla in the white gown with the look of horror on her face, realizing far too late that her bigotries have doomed her to a life she never wanted, for pretenses she did not believe in, and that none of it had anything to do with Halacha, frumkeit or shomrei mozyvot. It was simply keeping with her social sub-tribe's customs.<br />But she is incapable of admitting that to herself or anyone else.Israel Fathers Rights Advocacy Councilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14372557670708363773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-49363241996481473332010-06-17T14:09:26.664+03:002010-06-17T14:09:26.664+03:00Just another reason on my list why I better get ma...<i>Just another reason on my list why I better get married-fast.</i><br /><br />Wow, that's a scary statement. Great reason to get married.tesyaanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-28058706352077499142010-06-17T10:14:26.432+03:002010-06-17T10:14:26.432+03:00Whilst I understand that "To stay as Frum&quo...Whilst I understand that "To stay as Frum" is easy, natural and maybe the right direction for you, I've come to learn that religion is a very personal thing sometimes not expressed by outward appearances. I find this especially true in Israel where fashion and class dictate what you wear sometimes more than inner beliefs and, perhaps hidden, actions.<br /><br />How do you know that the "tiny kippah" means that you won't have a Torah household and truth at a shabbat table? You will only know by asking and then deciding. And you can combine the two.<br /><br />I'm sure you will find your bashert... and keep writing, I really like your blog.Jeff Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-40520748388417820322010-06-17T09:27:19.756+03:002010-06-17T09:27:19.756+03:00(Your 'sacrifices' don't go unnoticed....(Your 'sacrifices' don't go unnoticed.)<br /><br />I want to marry you all, and make your lives amazing.A normal, good-looking, bnei Torahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-28236415257438672342010-06-17T06:48:11.563+03:002010-06-17T06:48:11.563+03:00I agree and stand with Israel's comment above....I agree and stand with Israel's comment above. Open your mind and your heart to the possibility that you can learn from young men (not boys) like this, and they, too, can learn from you. Judaism--frum or not--is a journey, not a final destination. Keep going.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-59519473412937566312010-06-17T06:36:00.637+03:002010-06-17T06:36:00.637+03:00As the very proud father of three of those tiny ki...As the very proud father of three of those tiny kippot in the air force, me thinks she doth protest far too much. There is no greater Torah than what will be discussed at my sons shabbat (definitely not shabbos) table, and there is no truer path than what they have selected. Never sugarcoat cowardice with resolve. But at least some cracks of light are beginning to filter into your closed worldview it is a small start.Israel Fathers Rights Advocacy Councilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14372557670708363773noreply@blogger.com