tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post5498645670851086570..comments2024-02-26T11:19:58.885+02:00Comments on Frum N' Flipping: Chapter 29: Email UltimatumFrum N' Flippinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08916430533625318667noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-29017231230342192072010-07-07T19:19:35.965+03:002010-07-07T19:19:35.965+03:00This is the only one of your posts that I felt was...This is the only one of your posts that I felt was stilted or forced ("the honor you bestow on me"). Yishai's language is unnatural. He sounds to me like a much older man begging to meet a young maiden.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-61289307727845861322010-07-03T23:39:40.586+03:002010-07-03T23:39:40.586+03:00Nothing like any of the thousands of yeshiva bochu...Nothing like any of the thousands of yeshiva bochurim I've met.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-44465589537537406552010-07-02T07:34:42.638+03:002010-07-02T07:34:42.638+03:00he sounds like a sfardi baal teshuva yeshiva boy. ...he sounds like a sfardi baal teshuva yeshiva boy. smart enough to write a letter and be romantic yet shtark (read confused)enough to quote a rabbi.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-90410482504597593002010-07-01T17:38:34.425+03:002010-07-01T17:38:34.425+03:00Its great! I dont think it would be too usual for ...Its great! I dont think it would be too usual for a yeshiva boy to be online dating while going out with other girls though. He needs a bit of a twist.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-75460326048387511382010-07-01T16:12:19.924+03:002010-07-01T16:12:19.924+03:00Wow, great plot twist. I do think that Yishai soun...Wow, great plot twist. I do think that Yishai sounds a bit too formal, unless he's trying to be like that? The 'heart tremble'-ing wasn't really coming across. Otherwise, good writing.Mushkiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08254137812855001905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-81798711271208204642010-07-01T06:25:52.763+03:002010-07-01T06:25:52.763+03:00There are definitely some yeshiva guys who would w...There are definitely some yeshiva guys who would write like that, but I don't think that's very typical. I don't think you need to change it so much though, I think you should keep a lot of the emotion in it. Guys don't express emotion to each other, but I think they do to girls.BJGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17284005539217450744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-42809675058516886742010-07-01T04:15:23.558+03:002010-07-01T04:15:23.558+03:00I disagree. I think that there are many boys out t...I disagree. I think that there are many boys out there that if they sat down and put there mind to it would be capable of writing such a letter. Perhaps when conversing with their peers they may no speak with such flowery prose but this letter is obviously something he invested much thought and effort into so therefore I find it believable...Just my two centsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-66104130083768965182010-07-01T02:15:02.850+03:002010-07-01T02:15:02.850+03:00It does sounds a little Jane Austen-ish...I don...It does sounds a little Jane Austen-ish...I don't think boys would use such elaborate phrases to describe their emotions, let alone a bochur who spends most of his time learning. I think he would be more concise, less flowery. <br />Maybe I'm just not a romantic.bonnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18233228445664358396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-86314547548510438322010-07-01T01:40:31.692+03:002010-07-01T01:40:31.692+03:00He does sound Yeshivish, but it is a bit conflicti...He does sound Yeshivish, but it is a bit conflicting that he has been communicating with her via email, going the non-typical route. That is not what one expects from a typical bochur. I dont think that its so far-fetched for a bochur to have some sense of the English language...aminspirationhttp://aminspiration.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4538026753449287703.post-13748383325699844502010-07-01T00:46:45.613+03:002010-07-01T00:46:45.613+03:00Does Yishai sound like a Yeshiva boy in this lette...Does Yishai sound like a Yeshiva boy in this letter? And if not, what should I change?<br /><br />So far the Twitter responses have been that Yeshiva boys won't use such high falutin' language, won't express emotion, won't drag in so many religious quotations, and won't write such long emails in the first place.<br /><br />I'd really appreciate your feedback too. Especially from- no offence gals!- my male readers. <br /><br />Because I'm thinking of adding more letters between Karen and Yishai to my second draft, if I can only get it to sound real.Frum N' Flippinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08916430533625318667noreply@blogger.com